■ Living in the Pain Body ■ From Suffering to Freedom and Compassion, By Asttarte Deva

Living in the Pain Body: From Suffering to Freedom and Compassion

The term pain body, made widely known by Eckhart Tolle in The Power of Now (1997) and A New Earth (2005), describes the stored accumulation of emotional pain we carry inside us. This “energetic residue” is formed from past wounds, traumas, rejections, and disappointments. At times it lies dormant, and at other times it rises to the surface, seeking fuel through present-moment triggers.

What It Feels Like to Live in the Pain Body

Living in the pain body is like wearing tinted glasses: everything we see is colored by unresolved hurt. People in this state often experience emotional reactivity, repeating cycles, over-identification with pain, energy drain, and seeking validation through suffering.

The Martyrdom of Suffering for Others

One of the most common illusions of the pain body is the belief that suffering for others is noble. This often leads to cycles of codependency and self-depletion.

Stories of Identification with the Pain Body

Maya, the empathetic friend, absorbs the struggles of others until she is exhausted. James, the partner who sacrifices, tolerates mistreatment believing pain proves love. Both are trapped by the pain body.

What It Means to Be Free of the Pain Body

Freedom does not mean eliminating pain, but dis-identifying from it. With awareness, choice, boundaries, and presence, we discover that love is not tied to suffering.

Compassion Beyond Suffering

True compassion is not about carrying another’s pain, but about offering presence while staying rooted in wholeness. Authentic love comes from support, not martyrdom.

Practices to Step Out of the Pain Body

Practices include pausing before reacting, naming the pain body, engaging in embodied practices, journaling, setting boundaries, and cultivating mindfulness.

The Ripple Effect of Freedom

Living free of the pain body has a ripple effect: presence, boundaries, and joy inspire others. We show by example that suffering is not necessary for love.

Closing Reflection

The pain body is universal, but it is also an invitation to awaken. Freedom means realizing love is not measured by how much we hurt, but by how fully we live with presence and joy.

References

Beattie, M. (1986). Codependent No More. Hazelden.

Keng, S. L., Smoski, M. J., & Robins, C. J. (2011). Effects of mindfulness on psychological health: A review of empirical studies. Clinical Psychology Review, 31(6), 1041–1056.

Levine, P. (1997). Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma. North Atlantic Books.Maté, G. (2003). When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection. Wiley. Tolle, E. (1997). The Power of Now. New World Library.Tolle, E. (2005). A New Earth. Penguin.

van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.

Living in the Pain Body ■ From Suffering to Freedom and Compassion