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Writer's pictureAsttarte Deva

Being Independent & In Relationship


What most people do, but rarely talk about is the struggle with being in a relationship, but also being themselves; the struggle with being free to be themselves, either self-inflicted or felt from their partner. Many would rather leave their partner so they can escape the imagined throne of grandiosity but also leave the real or imagined prison they feel they are in. They've created a secure environment and safe haven for their life; their children, their family and they would do anything to jeopardize this sense of identity.


Tonights Ceremony was on embracing my womanhood, my motherhood and independence in the world. It was to reclaim my unique Goddess self back into my own presence, so I can embrace and honor all other women, and acknowledge and hold the space for God's children that cross my path, but especially my own.


We arrived home from Rehobeth Beach this early afternoon, and came home to my beautiful garden that had been well cared for by a beautiful innocent little girl we had asked to watch over the plants while we were gone. Tonight was on celebrating the children, being grateful for their gifts, and in particular my son. I got to tune in to the messages he so genuinely wants me to know - to "just let him be his bad ass self" was the direct message that came through, and not to judge him, or try to make him be anything different than he is. That is the message that all children are communicating in the background, to just let them be, to have fun, and be their unique selves. As I melted into this message, and honored it, acknowledged it, and let it go, I could surrender into his wisdom, and move on to my own individuality.


My Beloved childhood best friend passed away a couple weeks ago, and during my grieving of her, I was calling her my Goddess, and felt her spirit with me (I have more to say and write on her), but I tuned in to recognize that I too am a Goddess, and just had forgotten for a little while. I called to her and thanked her for being my Goddess and for being in my life, but also got the message that I too am a Goddess and its time now to connect to all the women Goddesses out there, and its time to celebrate, share each others uniqueness and gifts, and be a vessel of light to support them, honor them and acknowledge them.


So, I am writing this message in a moment of humbleness, of honor and gratitude. For all those who remember me, for all those who remember her, and all those who wish to find their independence again, even while they are in a deep committed relationship. I am here for you. Its time we are all here for each other!



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