So after not one, but two years of backing off from my male Tantra Massage clients, I went through the biggest detox and what one would say, purging of my life. They say, many Tantra practitioners often get into the field because they themself were either raped, sexually addicted, love addicted, or have so much shadow work to process and heal, and that line of work in fact keeps all of their shadow self suppressed.
True Tantra teachers programs will advise the students not to go forth and be practitioners until they have fully healed their own shadow side. However, many Tantra trainings neglect to educate their students of this, and so we have a lot of practitioners working in the field under the guise of their shadow, of fear, need, assertion of their own sexual frustration, anger, sadness, repression, promotion of polyamory vs true soul love, etc. You name it. They get caught up in the trap of survival and needing to pay the bills, and end up not having the ability to fully heal their deeper selves, nor having the support to do so. The break and separation between practitioner trainings, working and having a healing practice for others and personal growth does not have the gap of time and space to give them this option. So there are many practitioners not fully healed themselves giving healing to others. And the saying goes, one can only give what they already have themselves. So, the cycle of shadow workers /healers working under the guise of their shadow repeats itself.
I did not believe myself to not have processed and healed from my own past traumas, however, from stopping my practice with all men, and in particular those who tried manipulating me to do their will, not mine, and crossed my boundaries where I felt the need to protect myself from them while still working on them, that had caused a sort of confusion on my soul, I was able to be free of the confusion. I was able to look at my own traumas, my serious rape of 2005 that I was not complete with because he got away with it, my feelings of abandonment with my father for leaving at a young age, anger at him for leaving me alone with my mother, fear of my own mother, and grieve what had long been waiting.
During those two years, I could hardly sleep. My body and my soul was looking dead straight at the things I had pushed under the rug and forgotten all those years ago, and I was tormented in the middle of the night to process it, cry it out, scream it out, do reiki, acupressure, tapping, you name it, and receive sexual healing of my own from my own one and true beloved. I was his angel when he first came to me, but soon after he stayed my personal angel and rock of stability.
I loved working with some of the old male clients, but I also was unsure of many them. Many of them were sex addicted, some had psychosexual fetishes to fulfill some childhood need they didn't receive, and demanded their needs be met. My heart was torn, guarded and scared and I did not know I could set a boundary from the start, and have them heal their inner Childs first, because I had not fully healed mine.
Because I was so used to surrendering my will, and succumbing to theirs, I often would get into a habit of giving energy that was not deserved. I gave advanced healing prior to them being ready, and then when they came for the second visit, they would expect what was given from the start. Because of this, I trained those who were sexually addicted to expect to get their needs met instantly, rather than waiting to heal what was hidden within. Many were unwilling to wait to heal what lay dormant, and refused to see me if they did not get some instant gratification.
I'm sure many of those men have moved on to looking for other therapists, perhaps have been successful in finding new women practitioners, or perhaps miss the healing touch I offered. I still offer and provide healing services if you look at the Healing Services page of this website, or schedule a call with me. My focus is on spiritual, emotional and shamanic energy and healing of the soul. My tantra is shamanic and emotional, spiritual, intuitive and doing deep grief work. After two years of doing intense healing on myself, which I continue to do daily, I am now ready to be of service again to the public and excited for the many new changes that are happening!
I've started painting again, and plan to do something bigger with my painting.
Voice Opening, Singing and Throat Chakra Healing
I have included Voice Lessons, Singing, Sound Healing and Throat Chakra Opening to my Services. Working on healing the throat chakra, singing, screaming and even yelling, using crystals on the throat, and opening up the energy of sound from the throat helps those who have stuffed and suppressed their feelings to truly come out, and to come out of suffering, isolation and hiding. When you come out of isolation and hiding, you can rise and shine and come out as the true you! This then empowers you, helps you let go of past judgments, resentments, hurts, making others wrong or yourself wrong, and brings a sort of creative passion and joy for life once again! Sometimes tears come, sometimes, anger comes, and when you let this go, you can find peace within and feel peace in the world again! Feeling at peace in our own bodies and for the world at large is what we all long for as humans! Being able to be fully self expressed and free to be you is your God given right as a human being on this planet! And what a joy it is!!!
Throat Opening is offered in my Meetups, as well as in private sessions! My Meetup page is Meetup.com/CenterForHealingArts/
If you have a favorite pillow to scream in, please bring it when you come!
I am offering Yoga again in private sessions and also as a Meetup Group in my private home. I am back to doing hot yoga on my own and have rekindled my love for Yin Yoga. The schedule will be on my meetup group called Center for Healing Arts, in Bala Cynwyd. If you wish to come, please fill out of form on the meetup group, or let me know of your interest and I will make sure you know when they are happening.
I've been practicing Yoga since 1998, and did my first Yoga Teacher Training in Malvern in 2000, my second Yoga Teacher Training in Manayunk, in 2005, third teacher training in Ardmore in 2008, and my fifth in 2010 in Philadelphia.
Asttarte the Intuitive
Astrology Readings are available for those who want them! We can incorporate them into a Healing Session, or keep them separate on their own.
Tarot Readings are available for those who need advice, a quick answer to their problems or questions they are seeking, or want to know what direction to go in your life and need a little push in the right direction! A Tarot Reading will help me communicate to your higher purpose and spirit and give you answers your guardian angels or guides wish to tell you! We can also use one of my Angel decks or Fairy Deck as well for this purpose!
If you need an Intuitive, or Tarot Reader for your party, let me know.
I've studied and offered Astrology Readings as a Hobby since the 6th grade in Middle School, and continued the rest of my life. If was the leading practice that brought me to Spirituality from the beginning. After all these years, I am happy to offer this to others, if you so desire.
I've been learning and practicing tarot readings since about 1995, and like others, have several decks to choose from. It's fairly simple and fun!
Asttarte Deva Online
After two years of my own personal healing and having the intention of people who authentically want to heal, I'm taking down my website LoveSexandTea.com, and moving the contents back over to AsttarteDevaYoga.com. The url lovesexandtea.com will be used for my Youtube Channel Love Sex and Tea for the funny and comical sexy, healing and communication videos on strategies my Beloved and I make together for Couples, Married or Dating to help them in their Relationships, or for those who wish to have one! We may eventually also have a Radio show, but for now, check out the Videos. You'll love them!
So my main sites will be this one you are looking at now, AsttarteDevaYoga.com and QuantumHealing.center. You won't need to look further than these. And feel free to keep in touch with me on facebook for any other updates!
Also, don't forget to check out my Published book on Tantra, called Awaken to Living, Tantra for Your Whole Life. You can find this on amazon, or come over to visit me personally and get a signed copy yourself! They will be available at the Meetups as well!