A mans sexual health and his prostate can either give him a fulfilling healthy life, or it can be the destroyer that leads him to his final breath. Many people talk about and write about a mans prostate and how important it is for men to take care of this part of their body. I speak from experience, not as a man, but as a daughter of a man who struggled with this his entire life.
It was my father, perhaps like some of you, who refused to get medical help for his prostate. He had been dealing with challenges in this area since his early 20s, so he thought it was just normal and something natural, perhaps that he inherited or something that he just had to get used to. An enflamed or enlarged prostate can cause excessive pressure or inflammation to the scrotum, so if your husband, brother, or father complains about this, don't take it lightly. They may laugh and make jokes about it, but its actually pretty serious and something to research.
In the 1950s, when my dad was in his 20s there was little knowledge about the prostate health. It was very rare for someone so young to have an irritant or something they had to deal with here, so it was rarely talked about. There might have been education for when they reached their end days what options to consider, but my father avoided any potential options until he had no choice. So, like any daughter that loves her father, I researched. And, I took his hand and helped him to find some natural solutions. This was the beginning of our
relationship recovering and healing, from not being in each others lives until I reached my mid-twenties. I was determined to have a relationship with him, and to restore the lost years, and heal our hearts from having been separated for so long.
We would go to different health food stores, and search herbs for prostate health, and to my surprise, he believed me. He took the herbs and received some benefit. So, we were starting to build trust, and I continued my search for him. I had a friend, who claimed he was a psychic, and said "you don't have much time left with your dad." At the time, it was about 2005. I had just moved into that old basement apartment. My little kittens were just born a few weeks prior and I was going to do what it took to help him.
Any time I went to the Mind Body Spirit Expo, or MUMs Festival in Allentown, I would pick up a pouch of herbal tea for prostate heath. Or, I would find some remedy to detox the body, raise ones immune system, cleanse the gut, or increase your health in some way. I would then share this information with my dad. He appreciated the overall health of the whole person because he had other issues that needed to be addressed also. However, I knew the prostate was the most important of them all.
Over time, his sleep was affected and he shared the constant irritation of waking up every couple of hours to go to the bathroom. Even one cup of water would go right through him. Sleep deprivation and insomnia then comes along with prostate health, and avoiding the main issue started causing other problems.
Years went by, and it was about 2016. He managed to stay alive without surgery and maintained his optimal health, aside from the annoyance of waking up at night, and the constant need to have a restroom close by. But the continued development of a condition does eventually get to you. He was aging, but he didn't stop doing what he loved. He had been a Gardener and Farmer all his life. And one day after kneeling in the garden, he was tired, and his back felt out of balance. He was stiff and sore from kneeling and getting up constantly, and on his way up the stairs from the basement door, he lost his balance and hit his head. This one loss of balance was the beginning of the end. And I knew it. So I cried for days after I found out he fell. Afterwards he went to a rehab center, did physical therapy and he recovered. He was ok, but now he was accident prone. One fall often leads to another as an elderly.
When he came home we were all so excited to have him back. And he and I would sit on the couch, and again research options for his prostate health. He again, trusted me to help him regain some of his prostate health and irritance. He would call me "Doctor", even from nearly twenty years back (that's another story about Reiki in the UK for another time). I was so grateful we had this bond. It filled my heart. So, we found a 6 month package of prostate herbs and ordered them. They came and he took them. However, after the 2nd month bottle was close to empty, he felt they weren't helping him anymore. Although he continued taking them, but they weren't working. I didn't have a lot of knowledge about herbs at the time. I was still learning. Now, I understand if an herb isn't taking and its not working anymore, it's important to find a different kind and change it up for a while. They're not medication, so they work differently.
At some point after this, his doctor prescribed a bag for him to carry with him, and keep attached so his "drip" wouldn't cause any more accidents. When you need prostate surgery, and you don't get it, you also need extra clothes with you wherever you go, so you can change each time your body isn't doing what you want it to. In a way, we were all relieved, because the bag was much easier to manage and deal with than the constant odor. But in a way, this numbed us of the problem. It was still there, just not as noticable.
Soon after this, we found him going to the Emergency room often, or needing to. He still needed surgery to help the inflammation in the prostate. They even offered a gentle non-invasive surgery to just bring more circulation and flow to the area, and open the space. But he was a stubborn man, and he made his decision, "no surgeries". So after months of going in and out of the ER, they told us they couldn't help him anymore.
They had prescribed at home nurses and start on hospice. They told us that hospice today is different than it used to be and some people come out of it and can live normal lives. So, for the moment, we trusted them. However, this was short lived. The hospice nurses were coming to the house and they kept counseling us on "the end of life", and "making him comfortable". We knew he had so much more life to live. He was just stubborn with refusing surgery, and he needed a walker to be careful in case he lost his balance. Otherwise, he was in top shape. He was full of life and energy and still passionate about going places, flirting with the young ladies and making jokes that cracked us up.
He had been living at home with my brother, who was caring for him as best he could, but since the first fall, he had fallen several times after, and his dementia (triggered from the first fall) w
as kicking in more than ever. With each fall, the concussion on the head would cause the symptoms of the brain to relapse and confusion and forgetfulness would settle in, talking about things in the past in circles, and some things we weren't sure which was true. It was quite entertaining. He still had me cracking up all the time, but we were all worried for his safety. One escape out that front door, and the potential of another fall or something else could happen. So we decided one brother was not enough to care for him.
Long story short, I encouraged the family to agree to have him put in Memory Care Assisted Living instead of having the risk of him leaving the house or being alone and getting hurt. He survived an extra two years in the Nursing
home, but when the Covid rules for visitors not being allowed to come in happened, one thing lead to another and they put him on a medicine that caused major imbalance and he fell again. This was his last fall, and within a couple of months he passed away. This was 2 and 1/2 years ago now (3 years February).
The reason for my sharing this story is to learn about your prostate when you are young and to please take care of it early on. If you have been asked to get a surgery for help, let go of any stubbornness and consider it an option to elongate your life. Your family loves you. People love you. And if you don't want to get better for yourself, do it for those who care for you! We are all here on this beautiful planet together. Lets help each other and be there for each other as best we can!