Have you all heard about the new popular psychedelic healing and plant medicine work? Its the new rave and many people are jumping on the opportunity to start new businesses in this niche. However, how many of you have actually gone through the experiences of working with these medicines and seen the hand on changes in your psyche? Have you been impacted by taking these medicines and its caused breakthroughs in your marriage? Have you been impacted where its broken up your marriage? After working with plant medicines for about 6 years, (and been in training to be a facilitator), I have some insights to share with you.
Maybe you just had your first experience with Ayahuasca and it was mind blowing and opened your heart to your truth and to your partner. Maybe you had your first Soul Journey with Psilocybin and let yourself fully grieve and process the deep emotions trapped inside of you. But who of you out there has had a lot of experience with Bufo, popularized by Mike Tyson as the greatest psychedelic medicine for curing oneself of addiction and mental illness? Now, being an advocate of Ayahuasca, as my first choice of plant medicines, after my Beloved discovered his love for Bufo, we started hosting Shamanic Journeys with Bufo and Psilocybin. We did this for almost 3 years. It made the bigger impact on my partner to be at more at peace with his own (potential) death in the future, connected deeper into his own heart, and helped some ADHD challenges, and other things. When he went through his Journeys and our Bufo Facilitator came to our home, my Beloved would request that I hold him during his experience, when he was starting to come back online (awake), he would request I place my hand on his heart, or keep my body wrapped around him at the end to help him realize he was still alive, embodied and to keep him grounded. Perhaps there was a fear of death in there, and Bufo helped him process that fear of death, so that now, if he were confronted with a potential illness that could lead to death, his fear of this has transformed. The Bufo medicine helped him to grieve and process feelings that were ready to be released. But, he was ready for it. The difference with he and I is one major thing. He had already done years and years of grief work with a professional. And, he had done over 30 years of Recovery work, so his heart was already wide open. He had the capacity to truly feel his feelings. For others, their experience may take them down a different path.
However, I haven't done 30 years of grief work (and most people haven't), so my experiences have been different than his. My success with doing medicine work has been in the heart opening areas, such as tantra (which is Breathwork and opening the energy centers), other types of Breathwork, and deeper practices of chakra work, and when I do Bufo, it takes me to another world. It triggers soul memories in my brain and body. It brings me back to myself as the Goddess, the Tantric Dakini, and I remember my love for Tantra all over again. It does not bring me to grief or open my heart. In fact, Bufo puts me in a place of feeling empowered and just wanting to be left alone, have space, and detach from anyone who I feel is clinging to me. In a sense, from my experience, Bufo helps one to be completely free to be themselves, clear unhealthy entanglements (that can be re-attached newly from a fresh start later), come back to being an independent person, and go back to source where they came from. Bufo helps one find their power, or remember their power, their connection to source, detaching from all attachments, and being that single identity again. If there are unhealthy situations or relationships in ones life, it helps to detach from them, so that the unhealthy patterns can be cleared and worked on, and true healing can begin. However, this is my personal experience. Each individual has their own. It is my belief that it brings to the surface what needs to be looked at and healed.
Now, as a Tantrica, my journey is truly to open my heart, and remove all blocks in the heart for complete bliss, to be open to love, giving and receiving love, and to share that love with all I can, with my own boundaries in place of course. Loving my Beloved looks and feels very different from how I love my friends or clients. But, in the end, love is love.
After my Bufo Facilitator training, I realized that Bufo brought all my dark shadow self to the surface. It brought alive an ancestral lineage of my family that needed to be healed and addressed. It did not heal this, however, it brought it to the surface so that I could take actions to do additional practices to work through this. In a sense, the Bufo made the imbalances accessible and available to grab hold of, so I could ultimately rid myself of them.
Bufo is powerful! It is intense. It is almost like an alien medicine that is so profound most people struggle to come back from it and be grounded on our Earth. I've heard many stories where it brought people into mental hospitals because they did not know how to come back to themself, and it takes time, sometimes weeks, sometimes months. This can often fear the partner of the person who went through the experience; especially when they are living together. They may assume they'll never come back. However, this is not the case. It may also fear you, if you are the one partaking in this. However, Bufo heals what needs to be healed. It is just a different medicine than the other more gentle ones out there. It is intense and fast. Others, are slower, take longer to go to the core, and take many more sessions to unravel what needs to be healed.
If you've read other articles about Bufo, and are afraid, notice your fear. But know your partner, or you will come back. You just may need some time apart to process and work through these emotional layers that have been triggered to the surface. If you end up needing time apart, you probably needed time apart before anyway, but boundaries weren't spoken, or honored, and you may have an unhealthy attachment style where the risk of loss, or the fear of separation was too strong to set those boundaries. Bufo will help assist to create the boundaries where they were needed, do the healing necessary to come back to balance, and then you can choose to be together again after, or change your situation so you do have more of your own boundaries that feel like a better situation for you. Or perhaps, you'll just learn to speak those boundaries more frequently, and have a powerful conversation about them so each person in the relationship can feel supported and loved. When it comes to boundaries however, sometimes that conversation needs to happen regularly, as shifts in ones consciousness are altered and new layers of energies are awakened.
When it comes to Relationships, Bufo is probably not the easiest medicine to work with, or the more challenging to open ones heart to connect deeper to their Beloved. That is of course, if the person is entitled, guarded, blocked, controlling, righteous, or has some armoring around their heart. The person may initially come across as harsh when these resistances to these blocks arise. However, Bufo will address in the long term what does need to be addressed so the individual is a better person. Bufo is just incredibly powerful, and sometimes shifts can be sudden, and create changes faster than one is ready for. However, sometimes those changes needed to happen anyway.
Now, Ayahuasca, San Pedro, Psilocybin and other Heart Opening Medicines do accomplish this goal, but in a gentler and slower way, where the relationship often stays intact. There is less risk of a relationship changing with other medicines. Bufo is great for a brain reset. It helps with Depression, anxiety, and ptsd, as well as addictions, but in small doses.
Doing a week long training of multiple doses was sort of a set back in one way. I asked my partner to stay somewhere for some time, to take some space. However, now that time has passed, I recognize the space was healthy and important, and I took inventory of how this medicine impacted our relationship over the last 2 1/2 years. It has helped to process, recognize and release what has needed to be released, but the love still remains.
If you're single, Bufo is great! But if you're married, and have a lot of challenging issues in your marriage, or are still healing from your own childhood traumas, or grief, or other emotionally based feelings, I would actually recommend starting with heart opening medicines and other types of therapies, trauma and grief work to help assist in the healing of yourself, and the healing of your relationship. Only when your relationship has developed its true foundation and security, would I suggest doing Bufo. Otherwise, you may just become single rather quickly. If you've been married for a long time, and you partake in Bufo, you should be fine. If the love is strong, it will remain.
If your marriage is strong, and you've been together for a long time, you can use Bufo as an opportunity to become an even more powerful couple than you already are, and work on aspects that have been hidden and not dealt with before. Your marriage will return to love, if the love is already there. However, if it's a fairly new relationship, I would advise doing heart medicine work instead. I am happy to talk with you and support you to make the right decision for you or your relationship!
Trust in your process. Believe that you are being divinely guided. Accept the love from the universe that want to support you. And have faith that everything happens the way it is supposed to.
I hope this helped!
Namaste,
❤️
Asttarte
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